Home Is Where the Melon Is
by Wakkowarnerlover
Summary: Pinky is appointed to solve the murder of two gang members, but runs into some trouble when the prime suspect is Perry's girlfriend. Perry meanwhile tries to deal with boredom while recovering from injuries due to a car accident. (NOTE: THIS STORY IS PART OF A SERIES AND MAY NOT MAKE SENSE WITHOUT READING THE PREVIOUS STORIES)
1. Chapter 1

**(This may be confusing if you are a new reader: Perry and the boys are able to communicate through translators. The boys created them after remembering the second dimension (refer to my other fanfiction, Jingles). Only Phineas, Ferb, and as of this story, Candace, own the translators. If you're curious, be sure to check out my other fics- they're a series! Happy reading!)**

"This is the best sauce." Ferb said, tossing chopped onions into a frying pan. "You'll like it."

"I'm sure I will." Phineas said. "It smells good."

"Ferb, would you stop it?" Perry squeezed a pack of liquid cheese onto his shell pasta. "The heavenly scent of your homemade sauce is taking all of the flavor out of my artificial mac-and-cheese."

"Don't diss my sauce." Ferb said.

"Your sauce is dissing my mac-and-cheese. By the way, are you two allowed to use the stove?"

"With adult supervision." Phineas said.

"And technically, you are an adult." Ferb said.

"True that. So, what am I supposed to do as an adult supervisor? Make sure you two don't catch on fire?"

"Pretty much." Phineas said.

"All right, I'll have the extinguisher ready. Hey Phin, can you get me some watermelon? Nothing goes better with artificially colored cheese than watermelon."

"Sure." Phineas opened the fridge and handed Perry the bowl of watermelon.

"Thanks." Perry said. He struggled to grip it in his free hand.

"You should really lie down." Phineas said.

"I'm sitting down." Perry pointed at his chair. "Pretty much the same thing."

"You're having trouble holding things."

"Well, so are you."

"Yeah." Phineas looked at his cast. "With ONE of my arms. You're having trouble with both. And with sitting up in general. I really think you should rest."

"I've been sleeping and resting for so long I think I'm gonna throw up. Sitting up for five minutes isn't gonna kill me."

"Or make you catch on fire." Ferb added.

"Exactly." Perry ate a piece of watermelon.

Ferb poured his chopped tomatoes into the sauce.

"Hm… I think I accidentally ate a tomato." Perry said. "Watermelon and sliced tomatoes look kind of the same."

"Wait… what did I just pour into my sauce?" Ferb asked.

"Don't worry, Ferb. The watermelon will make it taste more summery." Phineas said.

"And gross." Perry said.

"That too." Phineas said.

Candace wandered into the kitchen. "You two are SO BUSTED FOR- …using the… stove? I guess?"

"With adult supervision." Ferb said.

Perry raised his paw.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you." Phineas said, holding out a tiny electronic piece. "We made you a translator so you can understand the things Perry says."

"Why would I want to know what he's saying?"  
"So that you can help him when we're not around. He has to be monitored." Phineas said.

"Child supervision." Perry said.

Candace didn't look pleased.

"He's not too hard to take care of." Phineas said. "He usually sleeps all day because of the painkillers."

"Ferb, why did you put watermelon in that sauce?" Candace asked.

"Because it will make it taste more summery." Ferb said.

"And gross." Perry added.

Candace sighed. "I have the weirdest brothers on earth."

Phineas got milk out of the fridge. He collided with Ferb, who was carrying the frying pan over to the sink to dump out the garlic watermelon sauce.

"Those bumbling brothers." Perry said.

"Ha, ha." Phineas said.

Perry felt a slight dizzy feeling in his head. "Okay, boys… I think I'm gonna pass out. Can you help me back to bed?"

"I can't." Ferb said. "I'm busy dumping out Essence A La Summer."

"Essence A La Summer Sauce. Made by the Bumbling Brothers Company." Perry said.

"I'll get the wheelchair." Phineas said.

"Heck, no. Just support my arm. I'll limp."

"Perry, your hip's still bad."

"I have to get used to walking or I won't be able to when I'm finally all healed."

"Perry…"

"Okay, fine. Just get it quickly. I'm dizzy."

"Put the translator in, Candace." Phineas said, running off.

"Dang, Phinny, now I only have a few seconds to say everything I ever wanted to about Candace."

* * *

"Here's your pills and a cup of milk." Candace said, setting them down on the bedside table rather forcefully.

Perry gave her a skeptical look. "I don't want milk. I want juice."

"You said-"

"I changed my mind and forgot to tell you. I want juice now."

"Uggghhh." Candace moaned. She started to go downstairs.

"Actually, I changed my mind. I like milk." Perry said. "But I also want juice."

"Are you always this annoying?" Candace asked.

"No, on certain days I'm more annoying. Hand me that remote over there, would you? I can't reach it."

Candace glowered at him, but she did as he asked. Perry turned on the projector. It slid down, covering the door to the boys' room.

"They have a PROJECTOR in their ROOM? They are SOOO…"

"Ow. Headache. Keep it down."

A movie began playing. Perry popped one of his painkillers into his mouth and washed it down with some milk. "Ew. Milk and pills don't go together at ALL. I need juice."

"So… you're a secret agent." Candace said.

"Yep."

"So, what kind of work do you do?"

"Secret agent work."

"Like, what?"

"If I told you, I wouldn't be very secret, would I?"

Candace huffed. "Whatever."

"I fight evil." Perry said. "That's all I can tell you."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Thanks for asking first." Perry mumbled.

"Why do you keep going into my room and sleeping on my bed if all this time you understood the word 'No'?" Candace asked.

"What does 'no' mean again?" Perry asked blankly.

Candace rolled her eyes.

"You have really comfy sheets." Perry said. "And I don't do favoritism. I sleep for the first part of the night with Phin, the second with Ferb, and the rest in your bed. Of course, now I have to stay lying down in Phin's bed since my pet bed isn't roomy enough for me to keep my leg elevated and I can't walk between them."

"How did you manage to get hit by a car?" Candace asked.

"Orange."

"What?"

Perry yawned. "I want orange juice. Apple… juice… too… appley… tired." He closed his eyes.

"Perry-"

"Juice…" Perry drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Got this one." Travis the pony said. He tossed a tied-up man into the back of the O.W.C.A Special Forces van.

"Where's the last one?" Asked Jimmy the jaguar.

"Covered." Said a robotic voice. A tall robot appeared from behind the van, holding up an unconscious man by the coat.

"Good job, Remy." Travis said, placing his stungun into its holster. "Maybe these guys will be able to give us some information on their boss."

"Let's head back." Jimmy said. "This neighborhood gives me the creeps."

Remy gave him a nod. "I'll survey the area first and make sure we got 'em all."

The robot vanished again.

Travis hoped this was it. He hoped the prisoners would tell them the location of Bryant Bigston, the crazed billionaire intent on turning all of the citizens of Danville into his own personal duct tape factory workers.

He certainly didn't want his owners being enslaved into manufacturing duct tape. Especially since the littlest one, Joan, had an unexplained fear of duct tape. Travis had no idea why. Some childhood trauma, perhaps?

Yells were suddenly audible in the distance. Travis pricked up his ears. The fur on the back of Jimmy's neck rose in warning.

Four shots rang out. Travis heard footsteps. A shadow moved rapidly across the road.

"Let's go." Jimmy said through clenched teeth.

They hopped into the van. The robot already sat in the backseat, as though it had anticipated the need for a quick getaway.

Jimmy stepped on the gas pedal, and the van zoomed away. Travis turned to Remy, shaking.

The robot pulled off its helmet, revealing the face of a baby female platypus. "Didn't like the sound of that." She said.

"Think this has anything to do with those murders that they were talking about on Animal Network?" Jimmy asked.

Remy looked out the window at the broken-down houses that whipped by.

"Could be." Travis said. "You okay, Rem?"

"Fine." Remy said.

"You look like Joan when she sees duct tape."

"Close call. That's all."

"Yeah." Travis agreed. "Close call."


	2. Chapter 2

Pinky the Chihuahua focused his attention on Admiral Acronym, waiting for her orders.

She appeared to be stirring sugar in her iced tea.

Pinky wondered whether or not he should yap to inform her of his presence.

"Did you order the pantyhose I wanted, Carla?" Acronym asked.

"The red ones?"

Pinky _really_ wondered if he should yap.

"Not those awful red ones, I took a liking to the green- Ah, Agent Pinky." Acronym looked down in surprise. "Don't dawdle around, you're wanted in the main room today. The Major has got something a bit different planned for you."

Pinky frowned.

"Go on. Run along." Acronym said.

Pinky shrugged and hopped into the correct tube. He landed in the main room of the agency.

Bernie the bear was playing checkers with Trevor the Doberman. Monogram was flipping through some papers while a pony stood in front of him, waiting. Other than that, the room was practically empty.

"Ah, Agent P." Monogram said. "Come here. I have a special assignment for you."

Pinky approached him. The pony looked down at him.

"This here is Special Forces Agent Travis." Monogram said. "He's on the Bigston case. But he recently was in a situation that may have been related to the murders that happened this past week."

Pinky nodded.

"We feel another murder will soon take place. We want you to investigate the murders and see if you can catch the killer. Here are the victims so far." Monogram held up two photos: one of a mongoose with a friendly expression, the other of a smug-looking dog with pointed ears and very short fur. "The mongoose is named Michael Mongy. He apparently went by Mike. The basenji is named Daniel. Both were killed in crowded areas in… the not-so-friendly side of Danville. Last night, Travis heard gunshots in the bad side of the quad-state area. No one was found dead upon further investigation, but…"

Pinky blinked.

"Anyway, normally, we'd have put Agent P on this case, but due to his current physical state, we had to give him some time off. We also proposed this case to Peter the panda, but he apparently had a close friendship with one of the victims and…" Monogram looked toward the bathroom. "I think he's locked himself in there. Anyway… we'd be grateful."

Pinky saluted and took the photos.

"I'd assume you'll first want to question some people around that area of Danville, and see if you can get Peter to talk more about his friend. Perhaps you can discover if these two victims had anything in common."

* * *

"Thanks for coming here, Lowe." Perry said.

The fennec fox adjusted his awkwardly large glasses and sat down on Ferb's bed. "It's no problem. You seem to be doing well in your current state."

Perry gave a painful smile. "Well, my leg is killing me and everything's sore, but I didn't want to take my painkillers before I talked to you or I would have been snoring by now."

"What did you need to talk to me about?" Lowe asked calmly.

"It's kind of… a favor."

"Favor?"

"Yeah." Perry attempted to sit up. He managed to elevate himself by about half a centimeter before he gave up. "…Well… after… certain events, I realized… I'm not gonna be around forever, and I need to be prepared for when… I'm not. So… here's the thing. You're one of the few people I know who really understands and cares about everyone."

"I try." Lowe said, half-smiling.

"I don't want my boys to be alone… my owners. What I'm saying is… will you watch out for them if I can't? Just be there for them if they need someone?"

Lowe thought for a moment.

"If not… that's fine." Perry said, slightly annoyed at the pause in conversation.

"I'd be glad to. But are you sure you want to choose me?"

"Yes."

"All right then. I will." Lowe gave him another half-smile. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. I had this dream last night about a stegosaurus playing a banjo. What does that mean?"

Lowe snickered.

"Aw, come on. How'd you know I made that up?"

Lowe shook his head. "Magicians and psychiatrists never reveal their secrets."

Phineas came into the room. "Oh cool, a fennec fox! I read about fennec foxes in Ferb's biology book."

"So did my cow." Ferb said, coming up behind Phineas.

"We have a cow now, do we?" Perry asked.

"That's just Ferb's new thing." Phineas said. "Whenever he can't think of anything to contribute into a conversation, he says something about his cow. And it's funny because he doesn't actually have a cow."

"Or anything to contribute into conversations." Perry said.

"Neither does my cow." Ferb retorted.

"I had better get going." Lowe stood up. "I don't want to leave my office for too long."

"See ya." Perry said. "Thanks for coming by."

Lowe gave a nod and padded out of the room. Phineas closed the door.

"Platypuses were also in Ferb's biology book." Phineas said.

"There was a picture of a newly hatched platypus." Ferb said. "It was all pink and slimy."

"Ew." Phineas said.

"Heeyy, like you should talk!" Perry said. "Newborn humans are disgusting. At least platypuses come out of eggs!"

"But human babies get carried to their parents by birds." Phineas said. "What's gross about that?"

Perry looked at him. "I thought you had an A plus in biology."

"He was sick the day we had that lesson." Ferb said.

"You may wanna read through Ferb's biology book again." Perry said.

"Oh, you know what else was in Ferb's biology book?" Phineas said.

"My cow." Ferb said.

"Nooooo, penguins! Did you know they throw up food into their babies' mouths?"

"Hey, speaking of food…"

"Fine, fine." Phineas said. "We'll feed you."

* * *

"Everybody was Judo-sparring, HOTAHUA! Those dogs as slow as farming…"

Perry carefully picked up his phone and struggled to lift it to his ear.

"If you change my ringtone one more time, Ferb…" He muttered.

Ferb snored in his bed, dangerously close to falling out. Phineas had all of his limbs splayed out and was pushing Ferb closer to the edge.

Perry tapped the answer button and flinched as the pain spread to his wrist. "…Hello?"

"I have a mission!"

"Good for you, Andy Warhol." Perry murmured.  
"Perry, it's me! Pinky!"

"No, you're Andy Warhol."

"You're not asleep, Perry! Okay, maybe you are. But wake up so I can tell you!"

"Fine, I'm relatively conscious. But can your last name still be Warhol?"

"I'm taking on the murder case. You know, those two murders that happened last week in Danville?"

"…What murders?"

"Have you been living under a rock?"

"No, but I was under a car for a few seconds."

"Oh, right, you were in the hospital when they happened. Get this: Some guy killed a mongoose and a basenji within two days of each other. The murders could be related, and who knows when the killer will strike again!"

"Basenji… those are the dogs that yodel, right?"

"Yeah. They can't bark. The mongoose was named Michael Mongy… and the basenji's name was Daniel. I don't know his last name."

"Oh no…" Perry closed his eyes. His head burned from the strain of summoning a long-gone memory. "…Daniel?"

"Yeah."

"You mean Dane? Dane's dead?"

"Dane who?"

"Pinky, remember Peter's birthday party in Colorado? A basenji named Daniel was there. Peter's friend. Peter called him Dane."

"Oh my gosh. You're so right. I vaguely remember him. And Peter locked himself in the bathroom after Monogram suggested the case to him…"

"Aw no… I met him… I actually saw him… oh, that's so sad…"

"Wait, did you know him? Any information on him is appreciated. It may help me find the killer."

"No… he only talked to me once. I can't remember what he said exactly, but he warned me about Prince being tracked to Colorado."

"…What?"

"He tried to warn me my life was in danger. That's so sad… I didn't know him, but he seemed like a nice guy…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad."

"That's okay. I'm still woozy from the painkillers, so that probably has something to do with it. Earlier today I cried because Ferb told me someone cut him in line at Mr. Slushie Burger."

"Oh. I should probably let you sleep."

"Find that killer." Perry said.

"I intend to." Pinky said. "And hopefully before anyone else gets hurt. Recover fast, Perry."

"You too. …Oh wait, you aren't hurt."

"Seriously, get some rest."

"Okay." Perry hung up.

* * *

"Guess what, Perry?"

Perry opened his eyes and immediately shielded them from the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. "What?"

"Ferb and I got a new game for meTablet." Phineas said, holding up a large electronic device that appeared to be all touch-screen. "It's called The Mims."

"Watch." Ferb sat down next to Perry and took the device from Phineas. "You create a person and give it a name and then you can make it do stuff like go to the bathroom."

"Do you get to choose where it goes to the bathroom?" Perry asked.

"Only the toilet." Ferb said sadly.

"We made our family and our neighbors on it." Phineas said. "But they didn't have a platypus pet option so we had to make you a dog."

"I was just about to ask why I was a labradoodle." Perry said.

"And for some reason, you can't make a single parent and a kid." Phineas said. "So we had to put a dad in Isabella's house."

"But Isabella has a dad." Perry said.

"Yeah, but we never met him." Phineas said. "So as far as we're concerned, he doesn't exist."

"Oh my." Perry said.

"We named him Mr. Garcia-Shapiro." Ferb said, touching a man to zoom in on him. The man was wearing dorky shoes and had a mustache.

MT. GARCIA-SHAPIRO appeared above his head.

"Uh-oh, Ferb. You accidentally named him Mt. Garcia-Shapiro."

"The T was right next to the R." Ferb said.

"And now he is a mountain." Perry said.

"I'm gonna make him fish." Ferb said.

Mt. Garcia walked over to a dock and tossed his entire fishing pole into the water.

"Mountains can't fish, Ferb." Perry said.

"Mims are really bad at stuff until they do it a lot of times." Phineas said. "Like Candace's Mim. We tried to make her dance to music and she threw the CD player out the window."

A giant fish sprang out of the water and swallowed Mt. Garcia.

"I wonder if that's why you never met him." Perry said.

"Oh well." Phineas said. "Goodbye, Mount Garcia."

"You'll be remembered as a hero." Perry said.

"Now we just have to get rid of Baljeet's dad." Phineas said.

"You guys are regular cold-blooded killers today, aren't you?" Perry said.


	3. Chapter 3

Ferb set a huge box down on the floor of the bedroom and locked the door. He began taking out books and sticking them in the closet.

Perry sat up as much as he could to watch.

"You been out smuggling books, Ferbooch? Afraid the book authority is coming to get you?"

Ferb held up a book entitled "Ducky Momo's Quack-a-licious Day".

"You raided the Ducky Momo books."

"Candace's book." Ferb said, setting it down on the floor. "I intercepted this package before Phineas found it. If he sees the books after they've been missing for years, he'll know where they came from. I'm hiding them in the closet."

"O'Riley?"  
"Yep." Ferb said.

Perry rolled his eyes. "Guy can't leave us alone, can he?"

"Well, I think he just wanted to return these. There's no note or anything."

Phineas knocked on the door. "Ferb, you locked the door by accident."

Ferb began clearing out a space in the closet for the entire box of books to hide.

"Ferb!"

"You have to guess the password." Perry said.

Ferb gave him a grateful look. He stuffed the box into the closet and began piling stuff on top of it.

"Is it one word or two?"

"One word."

"Um… worms."

"Good guess. Nope."

"Camera."

"No."

"Frog."

"Nope."

Ferb closed the closet.

"Feeeerb!" Phineas pleaded. "What's the password?"

"Statue. Doorknob. My cow. I don't know." Ferb said, unlocking and opening the door.

"Congrats." Perry said. "'Password' was the password."

Phineas glared at him and sat down on Ferb's bed.

"Let's go to the beach." Perry said.

"We can't." Phineas said.

"Okay, Mr. Negative." Perry said.

"Mt. Negative." Ferb said.

"You have to stay lying down." Phineas said. "And you're not supposed to walk."

"Details, details." Perry started to get up. "OW. Maybe you're right. I'm just so bored lying here."

"Do you need a painkiller?" Phineas asked.

"You mean the brainkillers? I hate those stupid things. They make me sleepy and overly sensitive."

"I wondered why you were crying when I said I got cut in line at Mr. Slushie Burger." Ferb said.

"Hey, maybe we can go there." Phineas said. "Then Perry could get out a little and we'd still be close to home if we needed to get him something."  
"Slushie dogs never get any better, but whatever, better than nothing." Perry said.

* * *

"This is where the murder of Michael Mongy occurred?" Pinky asked.

Travis nodded.

They were standing on the sidewalk next to some gloomy apartments that looked beyond repair. Graffiti covered an overturned trash can by the stairs.

"Did he live here?"

"I'm unsure. No one at the agency had any files on him, and the few people I asked didn't seem to know him."

The door opened on the apartment behind them, and a black cat walked out.

"Excuse me." Pinky said. "Do you happen to know who Michael Mongy was?"

"That mongoose that was found dead here?" The cat asked, giving him a look of distrust. "Nah, never met him. I don't converse with gangs. It's best to just keep a low profile around these parts, outta everybody's way."

"He was a gang member?" Pinky asked.

"Yeah. Everyone knew. Went by Mike. Member of the Silencers. Rotten gang, that one. They'd eliminate anyone who crossed their paths. They broke up a while back, which is why I speak of them so freely now."

"Do you know if he'd have any connection to a basenji named Daniel?" Pinky asked.

"Don't know a Daniel. There was a basenji in the gang, though. Had some paradoxical name…"

"Dane?"

"Yeah, Dane. Thought that was funny 'cause, Great Dane, ya know, and he's a basenji? Yeah. He was another member of the Silencers. He tracked enemies down. Had a powerful nose. He still alive?"

"No, he was murdered as well." Pinky said. "In this part of town."

"Can't say I'm sorry." The cat said spitefully. "I detest dogs, and especially that one."

"What's your name?" Travis asked.

"Ruth." The cat said.

"You live there?" Travis pointed at the apartment.

"Yeah, it's a dump." Ruth said. "All I can afford, though. How is this relevant?"

Travis nudged Pinky.

"So… did the Silencers have any enemies?" Pinky asked.

Ruth looked at him as though he were crazy.

"Oh. I see. Sorry, I meant to word that differently. Who do you think would have wanted to kill these former Silencer members?"

"Everyone." Ruth said. "This entire place was dominated by fear. Who knew who was gonna be targeted next. And sometimes innocent civilians were caught in the crossfire between the Silencers and rival gangs."

"Can you narrow it down a bit?"

"I'd say it was either someone who had a bone to pick with the gang itself, like a rival gang. Or it could be one of the other members still alive. I heard the leader was pretty ticked when the gang broke up."

"The leader?"

"Rex. No one sees him around anymore." Ruth shrugged. "Good rids."

"Thanks for your help." Pinky said.

"Whatevs." Ruth said. She pushed past Travis and turned into an alleyway.

"Well, I think this is going pretty good." Pinky said. "So far, the entire population is on our list of suspects."

"I got her name on file in case we find evidence pointing to her." Travis said. "She seemed a little shady."

"Everyone around here is a little shady." Pinky said. "Let's head back to the agency and see if we can find anything on the Silencers."

* * *

Perry slammed his wheelchair into the door.

"Just a minute."

Perry rolled back, causing slight pain to shoot through his wrists, and slammed into the door again.

"JUST A SECOND!"

SLAM.

"JEEZ, HOLD ON!"

SLAM.

"YOU'D BETTER NOT BE SELLING SOMETHING! UGH. FINE, FINE! I'M REALLY COMING THIS TIME!"

Doofenshmirtz opened the door and gave Perry an irritated look. "Oh, it's YOU. I thought you'd been put on bedrest, so I didn't bother thinking up any schemes."

Perry chattered.

"You got bored? Ugh, fine. Come in. But don't blame me if you get nightmares. I'm so bored I started playing online games, and I'm playing this really revolting one now." Doofenshmirtz pushed Perry into the living room and sat down next to him on the couch. He typed a web address into his laptop.

Perry snickered.

"Don't judge, Perry the platypus." Doofenshmirtz said. "They have a very nice selection of games. Ooh, I earned sixteen GoochyCoinz for the last game I played!"

Perry snorted.

"If you're going to be immature, you can go right back to bed." Doofenshmirtz mumbled.

Perry turned his snorts into a cough.

"That's better. Now, this game gets you eighty GoochyCoinz, and I intend to beat it." Doofenshmirtz selected a game entitled GALLBLADDER SURGERY.

Perry vaguely remembered Ferb once playing the game. He didn't think Ferb made it to the end. Or the guy Ferb operated on.

A picture of a smiling doctor appeared on the screen, next to sparkly letters spelling out GALLBLADDER SURGERY.

"She looks waaaaayyy too happy about that surgery." Perry observed.

Doofenshmirtz clicked "Play".

A warning appeared on the screen.

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

"It's kind of sad they have to put that warning there." Perry said.

"Step one: Draw a line over the area where the gallbladder is located using the marker tool." Doofenshmirtz read. "Where's the gallbladder located, Perry the platypus?"

"You should know these things before you perform surgery." Perry said. He pointed at where he guessed it was.

"Okay. Step two, make the incision using the correct tool. WHICH TOOL DO I USE?" Doofenshmirtz moused over a scalpel, a marker, forceps, tweezers, and a rubber duck.

"Why is the rubber duck even an option?" Perry asked.

Doofenshmirtz clicked on the rubber duck and dragged it over to the patient's stomach. He clicked. The rubber duck made a squeaking noise.

Perry pointed at the tweezers. "You could use those. They're sharp enough. I'd know. A guy nearly poked my eye out with that wretched, horrible torture device once."

"WHY! WON'T! IT! WORK!" Doofenshmirtz clicked again and again. The rubber ducky squeaked merrily.

"Time is running out!" Said the computer. "You must finish the surgery before Jimmy wakes up!"

"THE PRESSURE!" Doofenshmirtz said.

Finally Doofenshmirtz found the correct tool. He began to use it.

"OH. WOAH. THAT IS GRAPHIC." Doofenshmirtz yelped.

Perry covered his eyes. "MAKE IT STOP."

Perry didn't see what happened next, but he heard ominous music emit from the computer.

"Oh dear. Since you didn't complete the task in the right amount of time, Jimmy has kicked the bucket."

"Well, that Jimmy has a temper on him, doesn't he?" Doofenshmirtz said. "Poor bucket."

Perry opened his eyes. The smiling doctor was standing next to a tombstone with a shovel in her hand. "Thank you for playing Gallbladder Surgery!"

The screen returned to .

ONE GOOCHYCOIN RECEIVED flashed onto the screen.

"That was terrifying." Doofenshmirtz said.

"Yeah. That doctor's gonna give me nightmares." Perry said.

"Here's a nice safe-looking game." Doofenshmirtz clicked on it. "Wow, you get twenty GoochyCoinz just for clicking on it! I wonder why."

LABYRINTHOTASTIC flashed onto the screen.

"If you can get out of the labyrinth without falling into the lava, you win big!" The computer said.

"Okay, I have to concentrate, Perry the platypus." Doofenshmirtz said. He gazed intently at the screen.

And continuously fell into the lava.

Perry yawned.

"Okay…" Doofenshmirtz said after twelve minutes had gone by. "I think… I think I got it…"

A large picture of a dolphin blasted onto the screen. "I AM A DOLPHIN." It said loudly.

Both Perry and Doofenshmirtz screamed. Doofenshmirtz slammed the lid of his laptop shut.

"I think that's the internet prank known as the Dolphin Labyrinth Game." Perry said. "That would explain why you earned twenty coins for being stupid enough to play it."

"I'm finding a different gaming site." Doofenshmirtz said shakily. "And I'm locking my door tonight."


	4. Chapter 4

"We're joining you." Peter the panda said.

Pinky turned in his chair to face him. "You finally came out of the bathroom, huh?"

"Yes." Peter folded his arms. "And I want to avenge my friend Dane by finding his killer. So I'm joining you on the case. And Devon is, too."

Devon the dog came up behind him, wearing a ridiculous-looking detective hat.

"I read a book all about solving crimes." Devon said.

"Um… okay." Pinky said.

"So, where do we start first?" Peter chewed on a stick of bamboo.

"Well, we found out what the two crime victims had in common. They were both members of an animal gang called the Silencers. There are only two members still alive, and I was able to figure out who they were by asking other gangs."

"Did one of them have a Mohawk?" Peter asked.

"…Yes. How did you know?"

"I feel like all people in gangs would have Mohawks." Peter said. "Except Dane, because he can't have a Mohawk now that… he's dead." He hung his head.

"Who were the other two?" Devon asked.

"Reckless 'Rex' Makitah and Prince Curran. Incidentally, Perry's girlfriend."

"Which one?" Peter asked.

"Prince, Peter! Have you been living under a rock?"

"Oh. I thought her name was Prance. My bad."

"He's been living under _two_ rocks." Devon said, writing something down on a notepad.

"Devon, why are you writing down what I'm saying?" Pinky asked. "You're not interrogating me. We're on the same team."

"That's what they WANT you to think." Devon said. "All right, so what's our first order of business?"

"We find Makitah or Curran." Peter said. "Obviously."

"And then?" Devon asked.

"We tell them that their friends are dead." Peter said.

"NO, Peter." Pinky said. "Don't you see? Either those two are potential targets for the killer, or one of them IS the killer! We have to find them and question them. And then monitor them, to see if we can catch the killer before he strikes again."

"Can I go get a soda before we go?" Devon said.

"Dane can't." Peter said sadly.

Pinky patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. "Fine, but quickly, Devon. We don't know how much time we have."

* * *

"You went out!"

"Yes, we've established that. Can you help me get upstairs now?"

"Perry, you can't just run off like that!"

"I didn't run off. I wheelchaired off."

"Perry, we didn't know where you were! You could have gotten hurt!"

"Relax, all I did was watch Doofenshmirtz play mentally scarring computer games."

Phineas huffed.

"Come on, Phinny. Don't be mad. Remember when you hurt your knee? You were bored out of your mind. So am I. I'm stir-crazy. I don't just want to lie in bed all day."

"I'm worried about you, Perry."

"I'm sorry. Now will you please get me back upstairs before your mom comes home?"

Phineas nodded.

"And be careful when you pick me up. Everything hurts. Except this one spot near my shoulders. So… you basically are going to have to build an elevator."

"That can be done." Phineas said.

* * *

"I can't believe no one knows where Rex is." Pinky said sadly. "I guess he high-tailed it when he heard about the murders. And I really thought we were getting somewhere."

"Nothin' much about the one-liner high-tailing into the mountain pastures, sugarpie." Devon said.

"Devon, please stop trying to talk detective talk. It just makes my head hurt." Pinky said.

"You know whose head doesn't hurt?" Peter asked. "Dane."

"Look, Peter, a water fountain." Pinky said.

"Dane used to drink water." Peter said sadly. "But he can't anymore."

Pinky sighed.

"We haven't asked her yet." Peter said, pointing at a creature walking a few feet ahead of them, wearing a black hoodie.

"Miss?" Pinky shouted. "You there? Can we talk to you?"

The creature walked more rapidly.

"It's this side of town." Pinky explained quietly. "Everyone thinks you're out to get them. MISS! We don't mean any harm!"

The creature stopped in front of a cage-like door near an apartment building and frantically tried to unlock it.

Pinky caught up to her. "Listen, we just want to talk…"

She paused and turned her head towards him. "What?" She mumbled.

"Prince?" Pinky asked.

"Do I know you?"

"Yeah, we met a couple times. I'm Pinky, from the O.W.C.A, if you remember. This is Peter, and this is Devon…"

"Cut the cream cheese and snickerdoodle up the facts from the files we got back in Kentucky." Devon said.

"I don't think I ever met Devon." Prince grumbled. "I would have remembered him." She unlocked the caged door and swung it open.

"Can we talk to you for a second?" Pinky asked. "In private?"

"What's stopping you?" Prince stepped inside the door and started up the stairs leading to an apartment.

Pinky hesitated for a moment, and then followed.

"How Dane loved stairs." Peter said mournfully.

Prince led them into her apartment and closed the door. She took her hood down, but didn't remove the jacket.

"What do you want?" She asked.

"You've heard of the murders that happened here recently, didn't you?" Pinky asked.

Prince nodded. "Mike and Dane."

"Oh, Dane…" Peter whimpered.

"Now then, lovebug, perhaps you can ditty up a few smokeys on the trolley." Devon said.

"Ignore them." Pinky said. "We believe the killer may be after the Silencers. Do you know of anyone who would do this?"

Prince leaned against the wall. "I dunno. We had a lot of enemies. Most of them are dead."

"Like Dane." Peter said sadly.

"Do you think it could be another member?" Pinky asked.

"Rex? …Maybe. Seems like the kind of thing he would do. He'd definitely consider former members enemies. Damien's another good suspect."

"Damien?" Pinky asked.

"Large lizard. Head of another gang. He despised the Silencers."

"What were your relationships with the other members?"

Prince stopped leaning against the wall. "Dane was nice enough, but it's not like we were friends or anything. Mike had a pretty obvious crush on me. Rex didn't like me, but he kept me around because I was a good shot." Prince gave a satisfied smile.

"So, Rex and Damien?"

"Yes."

"Where were you at 3:00 this morning?" Devon asked, pacing in a circle around Prince.

"Heck, I dunno. Sleeping, probably."

"AH-HA!" Devon shouted, pointing at Prince.

"What does THAT have to do with anything, Devon?" Pinky asked.

"Sometimes criminals crack under interrogation." Devon said. "The Detective Diaries, Chapter Six."

Prince snorted. "The _Detective Diaries_?"

"It's a great book, don't mock it!" Devon said.

"Dear diary: Today Detective Jimmy looked at me through his magnifying glass. We're SOOO gonna date through high school."

"For your information, his name is Detective Jameson!" Devon said. "And the main character goes to high school already!"

"For _your_ information, I'm not the one who murdered everyone. So you three don't have to interrogate me. I had nothing against Mike and Dane. Rex, maybe, but I don't kill anymore. I just paint." Prince gestured to a few empty cans of spray paint lying on the ground.

"Just one question." Pinky said. "Why are you here? Perry told me you got a new home up in the Quad-State Area. Why would you come here when all these murders are going on? In one of the most dangerous areas? When you're surely the next target?"

"I don't have to explain my reasoning to you." Prince said coolly. "I already told you I didn't do it."

"How can we trust you?" Pinky asked.

"You can't."

"Dane can't, either." Peter said. "He's dead."

"You can't trust me." Prince repeated. "But I'm no liar. I didn't kill them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm really tired."

"Just a few more beans to fry with the mop, hogsquash." Devon said. "Why is-"

"OUT." Prince pointed.

They filed out.

"Devon, you probably shouldn't call people Hogsquash when you want them to answer something." Peter said.

"Cool it down, sugarbeans. We're hot on the trail of the meddling murderer, and I'm not about to keep you dousing my tractors."

* * *

"Dousing my tractors? That could have a double meaning." Perry said.

"Oh, Perry." Pinky sighed. "I just hope we can solve this case before the murderer strikes again, and it's not easy to think about what to do when Devon keeps being…"

"Devon." Perry supplied. "I wish I could help, but I'm stuck on stupid bedrest. Doctor's and Phineas's orders. Phin got so mad when I went to Doofenshmirtz's. Now he puts my crutches in the closet whenever he's not here to supervise me."

"Harsh." Pinky said.

"Eh, I'll be able to trick Candace into giving them to me later. So how far are you on the case?"

"Not very. So far, all we know is that everyone could be against the Silencers and that the murderer could be anyone."

"And that Dane is dead." Said an echoey voice down in the Flynn-Fletcher yard that sounded suspiciously like Peter.

"Well, that's more than I knew." Perry said. "Is Prince safe?"

"So far, I think. …Perry, I have to be honest with you. She's a suspect as well. Both of the living Silencers are. You understand. We have to think of every situation."

"…Yes." Perry said slowly. "But I don't believe she did it."  
"Sometimes you have to look beyond your feelings, Perry."

"I am. She's a good person at heart, Pinky. She's just had a hard life. I know you don't like her, and you can't help that, but don't suspect her just because of something she says."

"I need some more background information on her and Rex. Dane and Michael, too. Do you know of any family members still around?"

"For Prince? There's her mindless father… doubt he'd be any help… her uncle JD… he'd know a lot… her daughters… and then there's her mother, who she doesn't have a very good history with. Other than them, no. And I don't know the other guys well enough to tell you about them."

"Thanks." Pinky said. "I'd better get back. Get well soon."

"PERRY!" Phineas called from downstairs. "I'M HOME!"

"GOOD. I WANTED TO ASK IF I'M ALLOWED TO MOVE MY ARM FIVE CENTIMETERS AWAY FROM THE BED TO TURN ON THE PROJECTOR." Perry yelled back.

"PERRY!"

Perry grinned.

"You get way too much enjoyment out of teasing people." Pinky said.

"Well, I have to get my entertainment somehow. It's not like I can turn on the projector or anything."


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm gonna throw up." Perry said.

"Here." Phineas placed a bucket next to the bed. "If you feel sick, just throw up in there."

"I don't wanna throw up in a bucket. I wanna throw up on the nice clean carpet in the living room. Pleeeaaassee?"

"No, Perry."

"Pleeeeaaaaaaaaasssssseeeee?"

"No matter how long you make your 'please' or how big you make your puppy eyes, the answer is no. You have to stay in bed."

"At least let me throw up in the toilet. It makes that satisfying sploosh."

Phineas shook his head.

"You're no fun." Perry rolled onto his side and winced. "I'm soooooo borrrreeeeeddddd…"

"So's my cow." Ferb said.

"We can go to the ice cream cart and bring you back some ice cream." Phineas said.

"Ice cream…"

"Here. Play the Mims while you wait." Phineas gave him the meTablet.

"Any mountains I need to get rid of?" Perry asked.

"I just deleted them." Ferb shrugged. "Now our entire neighborhood is accurate."

"Oh. Can I add Doofenshmirtz?"

"Sure. We want to add all of Danville anyway. We'll be back, Perry." Phineas said.

"Okay. I'll be over here bored."

* * *

"Look who weaseled his way out of the hospital."

Perry smiled and rotated his crutches in an attempt to face Prince. "Hey."

"How'd you know I was here?"

"In this building? I figured wherever there's loud noise and colorful lights, you're not far behind."

"I don't firework buildings anymore." Prince said. "C'mere, weasel."

She kissed him. Perry winced. "Sorry. I kind of hurt everywhere."

"Mm, good thing you left home to come to the bad part of town where all the scum of Danville is having a party. Seems safe."

"Could say the same for you." Perry said.

Prince eyed him.

"And please don't call me weasel. I hate that nickname."

"Fine, loser. Come on. It's too loud here." Prince took his hand and led him through the animals.

"Woah. Hold up. I can't hobble that fast."

Prince dragged him into a closet and closed the door. "So, you've heard about the murders, I guess."

"Yeah. Why are you here? It's not safe."

"I didn't want to put Sneakers and Remy in danger. I left them with my uncle. I figure the killer won't think I'm stupid enough to come here."

"So you're safe thanks to your own stupidity."

"Shut up. So are you."

"I've been going crazy." Perry said. "I'm trained to always be doing something. I hate just lying around day after day… I've seen every movie, watched every video game being played… I can't read because I can't hold up anything… I HAVE to get out. Even now, I'm messing with the bandages on my hands. I have to DO something."

Prince almost looked sympathetic. "Yeah, I get you. If I can't paint, I start throwing things at the walls. Where don't you hurt?"

"Not on my face… my left shoulder… my right arm… my right foot…"

Prince kissed him on the cheek.

"Cut it out. We're in some random person's closet." Perry attempted to push her away.

"So what? I'm just kissing you."

"Someone could burst in at any time…"

"No one's gonna open the closet."

A gray cat opened the door to the closet. "Whoops. Sorry, guys. Just felt a strange, burning desire to open this closet."

Perry looked at him.

"Well, see ya around." The cat said. He closed the door.

"Point taken." Prince said.

Perry patted her gently on her left shoulder. "I'd better go before Phineas has Ferb's cow- ACK. I mean A cow. Those kids are brainwashing me- what's this?"

"What's what?"

"Your sleeve feels funny."

Prince pulled her dress up more over her sweater. "I wear a lot of layers."

"Unless they suddenly invented a kind of clothing called 'Shoulderwarmers', I doubt that's clothing. What are you hiding?"

"Mind your own biz and shut up." Prince snapped.

Perry pulled her sleeve down.

"Hey, that cat could come back any minute-"

Perry stared at the bloody gauze bandage for a long time before looking back up at her. "They… they got you."

Prince yanked her sleeve back up and glared at him. "I've had worse. It's no big deal."

"Prince, they tried to kill you."

"Well, they didn't. Just got my shoulder. That's good, isn't it?"

"Did you get it taken care of?"

"No, stupid, I'd rather not mess with it so I can get an infection and die. Of course I did. Malice removed it and cleaned it out. Any other concerns you'd like to address?"

Perry sighed and propped himself back up on his crutches. "I'm sorry. I know you hate being fussed over. But I love you. And I want you to take care of yourself."

"Whatever."

"I'd better head home." Perry said. "Sorry about Mike and Dane."

"Dane's fine." Prince said dismissively.

Perry frowned. "What?"

"I got Dane help. But pretend he's still dead until the killer's caught."

"Well… that's good to know."

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

Prince folded her arms. "I'm sorry I worry you. Sucks to be worried."

"Just watch out for yourself."

"I will."

* * *

Perry unwrapped and re-wrapped the bandages on his left hand. It had been at least three hours since he had gotten home.

He wondered when the boys were going to get back.

He carefully stretched out the fingers on his right hand. He only felt a little twinge of pain.

Perry reached next to Phineas's bed and picked up his laptop.

He opened it up and typed into the search bar.

YOU HAVE A FRIEND REQUEST, OWCAPPLAT. Said the computer.

Perry clicked on "View Friend Request".

STRUDELCUTIE4427 WOULD LIKE TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

"He'll have to try harder, then." Perry said. He clicked ACCEPT.

STRUDELCUTIE4427 WOULD LIKE TO PLAY EPIC FARMER MOTORBIKE WITH YOU.

"Good luck beating my highscore." Perry said smugly.

"We're home." Phineas said, coming into the room with Ferb.

Perry held up his hand. "My hand's better. I can game online now."

"Who's winning?" Ferb asked.

"Me. What did you guys do?"

"Isabella had a pool party." Phineas said.

"And then after we swam, we ate food." Ferb said.

"What food?" Perry asked.

"Pizza and salad." Phineas said.

"What kind of salad?"

"Tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, carrots, and my cow." Ferb said.

"So there was watermelon in it?"

"Thankfully, no." Ferb said.

"Let's do something." Perry said. "I'm bored."

"We could go to the Laundromat and fill the dryers with cheese." Phineas suggested.

Perry stared at him. "Honestly, you and Candace…"

* * *

"Here's what we have so far." Pinky told Darren the duck. "We managed to contact Rex and we interrogated him over a pay-phone. He said that he went into hiding after Mike was killed and has been gone ever since, but he was in that area when the first murder happened. Of course, we have no evidence that he's telling the truth yet. He also said that he found Michael incompetent, Dane cocky, and Prince reckless, but he didn't hate them enough to kill them. He also claimed to have saved Prince's life by paying her ransom to Damien and getting her out of his grasp. We also met with Michelle Curran, Prince's mom. She lives alone in a beachside apartment complex because her mate is living mindless in the forest and her other daughter Willow is dead. She said that she abandoned Prince because she felt there was something wrong with her, probably from the cutonium her father fell into. Willow was born blind and apparently was ill most of her life, but Michelle believes that she died from a Silencer attack, when the Silencers released poison gas near the complex against an unknown enemy. She also confirmed that Prince's real name isn't actually Prince, it's Princess. We tried to get information from JD, Prince's uncle, but he refused to answer any questions. Then we found a former gang member of the Radio Waves who had apparently been kidnapped and tortured by Damien. She told us that Damien hated all gangs other than his own, especially the Silencers. Apparently Rex owed him a lot of money. Which makes it seem that if Damien was the killer, he would likely have gone after Rex first. And so far, everyone's a suspect."

"Well." Darren said.

"Yep."

"Have Peter and Devon found any information?"

"Peter keeps informing me that Dane is dead, and I don't even understand Devon anymore. He's so bad at figuring things out. He keeps scaring away our witnesses, and he thinks Michelle is the killer."

"Why?"

"I asked him myself. I said, 'Devon, we have no evidence of that'. And he said, 'Well, when we do, we'll know it for sure!' and then he said something about donut holes in Nebraska."

"Maybe he's going senile." Darren said. "He is getting up there in age, dog-years wise."

"We're going to spy on Prince, and Rex, if we can find him. Maybe we'll be able to catch the killer that way."

"Seems safe." Darren said.

* * *

"Thanks for going Throw-back Fishing with me, Perry the platypus." Doofenshmirtz said.

They were in a small boat, bobbing in the middle of Danville Lake. Doofenshmirtz took out his fishing pole.

"You know why I call it Throw-back Fishing? Because I hate fishing. I think it's so mean. I mean, think of those poor fish swimming around, minding their own business, going to work, seeing their girlfriend unless they're like me and they don't have one, walking to the store, maybe passing by a neighbor, heading into town and stopping by the newspaper stand, and then all of a sudden, BAM! Yeah. So if I catch one, I throw it back. And I use a safe plastic hook with a not-sharp end. Because who wants sharp stuff in their mouth?"

Perry smiled and re-wrapped the bandage around his hand. He liked this about Doofenshmirtz. Doofenshmirtz didn't think that creatures were less important than humans. He understood that they had their own way of living and respected them.

Doofenshmirtz threw the fishing pole back to attempt to toss the line forward.

"Don't go dropping the entire thing in the water like a mountain I used to know." Perry said.

The safe hook caught on Doofenshmirtz's belt.

Doofenshmirtz tossed the line forward, and incidentally, himself, into the water.

Perry burst into laughter. "Throw-back Fishing? More like Throw-your-back-out Fishing!"

Doofenshmirtz coughed the water out of his lungs. "I may not know what you're saying, Perry the platypus, but I know it's not anything sympathetic. Pull me up?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Look, Phineas. Isn't it cute?"

"Super-cute." Phineas said. He held a volumetric flask over a Bunsen-burner. "You got the base ready, Ferb?"

Ferb put his goggles on and handed Phineas a small beaker.

Perry stretched so that his foot was on Phineas's shoulder. "Look, Phineas. I have a cute foot."

"Yes, yes you do. Hold on, Perry. This has to be perfect. I have to measure out the exact amount…"

"Foot." Perry waved it in front of Phineas's face.

The volumetric flask shattered and fell to the floor. Phineas sighed. "At this rate, we're never gonna invent the cure for everything."

"I don't know if it has to do with rate so much as the presence of my foot. You guys have been burning chemicals and acids all morning. Can we do something together now?"

"Like admire your foot?" Ferb asked.

"Yep." Perry put his foot back on the bed. "It's getting easier to move my legs now. I'll probably be able to walk around by next week."

"You would have been able to walk around five seconds ago if you hadn't put your foot in the middle of everything."

"My foot's just nosy like that." Perry said.

"No, your nose is." Ferb said.

"His foot actually is really cute." Phineas said.

"You know what else is cute?" Perry asked.

"My cow." Ferb said.

"Noooo. Making animals out of cotton balls. Let's do that. It'll give me something to do."

* * *

Devon sat in a tree, staring at Rex with his binoculars. He was disguised in a blonde wig, heart-shaped sunglasses, and a feather boa.

Rex'd never spot him.

Rex's window was on the second floor of the old motel. Devon didn't even know the name of it. The sign on the front, as the owner had told him, had fallen down in a storm.

It was the perfect place for someone to hide if they wanted to stay hidden.

Rex was lying on a beat-up old bed, staring at the ceiling. He had been doing this for quite some time.

It made Devon even more certain he wasn't the murderer. Murderers didn't stay in motels, staring at the ceiling. They went out and murdered people.

It was hard to see Rex through the heart-shaped sunglasses, but it didn't matter. Rex wasn't doing anything.

Devon was just about to leave when he heard a motorbike in the distance. He looked through his binoculars.

A lizard parked his motorbike in front of the motel. He was wearing all black from his helmet down to his boots, which had spikes on the toes.

Rex sat up at the sound. He went over to the window and looked out.

Devon pulled his wig down lower over his face so as not to be seen.

Upon seeing the lizard, Rex reached into his jacket pocket and gripped onto the handle of something. He headed deeper into the room.

Devon couldn't see him anymore.

"Hello, Reckless."

"Damien. What do you think you're…"

"I'm either here as your friend or your enemy. Just so long as you turn over…"

"I don't HAVE any money, Damien."

"Well, that's a pity. It was the only thing determining whether I helped you in your task or turned you over to the police."

"I didn't murder my former gang members. I thought you did."

"Funny."

"Seriously. Now get out before I murder YOU."

Damien gave a nervous laugh. "Be careful, Rex. You're not the only one armed around here."

"Leave me."

Suddenly a gunshot rang out. Devon heard a wail, and Damien was shouting. He looked around.

A figure in black hopped down from the tree two down from Devon's and hopped into a black car. Damien was close behind on his motorbike.

Devon heard the door to Rex's room open.

"Call for help." A man's voice said. "Someone's been shot."

Devon climbed down from the tree and looked at his watch.

Three AM.

* * *

"I can't believe it." Pinky said. "So DAMIEN was the killer?"

"No way, sunshine." Devon said.

"Devon, normal talk." Pinky said.

"No." Devon said. "Damien seemed to think Rex was the killer, and Rex thought it was Damien. Then Rex got shot-"

"By Damien."

"No, by someone hiding in the trees."

"Did you see them shoot him?"

"No. I just heard the shot."

"So it could have been Damien."

"Damien said-"

"Look, Devon." Pinky said, beginning to get annoyed. "Just because someone says they didn't do something doesn't mean they didn't do it. Damien could have pretended to think Rex was the killer to blackmail him into money, AND get people off his tail. And when Rex didn't accept, Damien killed him."

"The shot sounded like it came from outside."

"Maybe he has a partner."

"I think it was someone else entirely."

"Devon-"

"Pinky, do you have a twin brother?"

Pinky removed Devon's sunglasses.

"Oh. Thanks."

"You said Damien followed the car."

"Yeah, they both left."

"So either it was a partner, or as you said, another person entirely. Seems suspicious that Prince is the only one who hasn't been shot so far, when she's in the easiest location to attack. We need to keep a close eye on her."

"She didn't do it."

"How do you know? Where's your evidence?"

"I don't need evidence, I just KNOW."

"Devon. Listen to me." Pinky felt exhausted. He wasn't sure whether he'd get any farther along on the case with Devon's help, but he didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings. "Detectives need to back up their theories with evidence."

"Well, maybe I'm a different kind of detective." Devon said. "Anyway, you have no evidence that Prince is the killer."

"I didn't say that she was. I said she MIGHT be. And it makes sense since she hasn't been shot. That's the evidence."

"If you're so good at this, maybe we should work separately." Devon snapped. He stood up and adjusted his ridiculous wig. "Then we'll see who's the better detective."

"Fine." Pinky said. "Go ahead."

Devon stormed out of the room. Pinky sighed. He hoped the case would be solved soon so that Devon would go back to normal.

* * *

"Hi, Phineas!" Perry said, hopping up to the door. "Guess what? My legs are better! I just have this pain in my hip and once that's gone and my stitches are out and my arm is confirmed as completely healed, and my hip- did I say my hip? I did, whoops. And my hip, and then I'll be able to do anything."

"Hi, Perry." Phineas walked into the hallway, carrying a small monkey robot.

"I figured out how to stop the painkillers from knocking me out. After I take one, I just drink seven cups of coffee and I get this unbeatable energy boost! I was so productive today, Phineas. I stapled all of the magazines to the back of the sofa in the shape of a corncob and glued a whistle to Candace's hairdryer."

"Are you gonna go back to your regular cranky, sarcastic self when you're all better?" Phineas asked.

A loud whistle sounded.

"PHINEAS AND FERB!" Candace screamed.

"But grandma, can't you hear the whistle blowing?" Perry said. "Hey, Phineas, let's make cotton candy."

"I don't want to see you hyped up on coffee AND cotton candy." Phineas said.

"Coffon candy. It's what vampires eat, Phineas. And Ferb's cow." Perry clutched onto Phineas's leg. "Come on, Phineas. Pleeeaaaassseee? My hip's better, did I tell ya that?"

* * *

"Stop it, Agent P." Monogram scolded. "You're going to get dizzy."

Perry continued to breathe quickly and lightly. The scent of unnatural substances, fear, doom and destruction filled his nostrils.

His instincts were warning him to get away. Far away. This was bad.

He knew it wasn't, of course, but his instincts always won when battling with his logic, and his fight-or-flight needs were desperately trying to be met.

"Agent P, stop it. You're going to hyperventilate."

"I AM hyperventilating." Perry retorted.

"Room 3." The receptionist told Monogram.

Monogram picked Perry up and carried him past the other people in the waiting room.

Two dogs that belonged to different owners were having a highly tedious conversation.

"I am a dog."

"So am I."

"Are we both dogs?"

"We cannot both be dogs."

"But I am a dog."

"So am I."

The smaller dog suddenly curled its upper lip. "THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE DOG IN THIS TOWN."

The dogs began barking at each other. The owners panicked to separate them.

Monogram carried Perry into a door marked 3 and set Perry down on the examination table.

Perry sat on the table and opened up the jar of Q-tips. He placed one in his mouth.

"Agent P." Monogram shook his head. "Not the Q-tips again. Please."

"Hello." Said a man in his late twenties, coming into the room. "I'm Doctor Andrew. Is this Perry?"

Perry crunched another Q-tip.

"Yes." Monogram said.

"I must have examined him before. I think I remember this platypus." Doctor Andrew said.

Perry hacked up a ball of chewed-up Q-tips.

"I _definitely_ remember this platypus." Doctor Andrew said. "Let's see how you've healed."

Doctor Andrew felt Perry's limbs and head.

"Lie down." He said.

Perry stood up.

"I'm sorry. He's in a sassy mood today." Monogram said.

Doctor Andrew gently pushed Perry down and began poking his belly.

Perry growled.

After examining him, Doctor Andrew shrugged. "He seems perfectly fine. As soon as those few scratches heal up, he'll be back to normal."

"Excellent." Monogram said. "Thank you."

Doctor Andrew removed his plastic gloves and went to the sink to wash his hands.

Perry had to aim carefully. This had to be a perfect shot.

He projectile-vomited the last Q-tip across the room. It landed on Doctor Andrew's head.

"Agent P!" Monogram chided.

"Dang." Perry said. "I was aiming for his bottom."


	7. Chapter 7

"You're back!" Devon said happily. He hugged Perry tightly.

"Good to see you again, Perry." Said Darren.

Ernest shrugged and returned to what he had been doing beforehand.

Perry grinned. "Hey, Dev. What's going on?"

"Pinky and Peter and I were solving the Silencer case, but I went solo." Devon said. "Pinky was NOT heading in the right direction."

"Hm." Perry said. "Well, I guess you don't want him to douse your tractors."

"Exactly." Devon said.

Pinky approached them. "How are you doing, Perry?"

"Well, I'm standing up. That's something."

Ernest the eagle cleared his throat. "Agent P, I need you to come with me to sign some forms to clarify that your injury was a legitimate excuse to miss work."

Perry sighed. "I'll talk to you in a sec, guys. Flitterly calls."

* * *

"So Rex was hurt, but not killed?"

Travis nodded. "A miraculous survival. He would have been a goner if the bullet was any more to the right."

"Our killer is officially after the Silencers." Pinky said. "Do you believe Damien and Prince are our best suspects? Damien did tell Rex he wasn't 'the only one armed' before Rex was shot. And Prince is the only member who hasn't had an attempt on her life."

"Yes." Travis said.

"Do you think they could be working together?"

"According to the information from a trial involving Damien, Damien kidnapped Prince and... let's just say he caused her a great deal of injuries. She was barely alive when she was rescued. I don't think it's likely they'd join forces."

Pinky pressed the button next to the traffic light and waited for the walk light to turn on. "I'd best spy on both of them, then?"

"I would." Travis said.

"I'll see if Peter and I can inspect their homes for clues when they're not around." Pinky crossed, and Travis went on his way.

He arrived to the other side and attempted to turn into the dollar store to avoid suspicion. He collided with a creature leaving the store.

"Oh, hello, Michelle." He said.

Prince's mother blinked at him. She was wearing a white dress and a white sunhat, and carrying two bags. "I'm sorry?"

"I'm Pinky. From the O.W.C.A. Remember me?"

"Oh, yes." Michelle smiled. "Yes. Have you found the killer yet?"

"Unfortunately, no. But I've narrowed it down to two suspects."

"So you're closer, then." Michelle sat down on the bench provided outside of the store. "Who?"

"Well… Damien, you may know him…"

"I wouldn't be surprised if it was him." Michelle said, her eyes narrowed. "Princess comes to me, beat-up and miserable, and I tell her that if she would just give up that wretched horrible gang life and come back home I would help her… she denied. After all that. Anyway… I'm sorry. Who else?"

"…I'm sorry, Michelle. Prince is… also a suspect."

"I'm sorry. Prince... is alive?"

"…Yes." Pinky said. "Yes… as far as I know. No attempt has been made on her life."

Michelle shook her head. "I never hear from her. But when I heard about these murders, and when you three came and visited me and asked me about her… I… I thought… I'm so glad…"

"I'm sorry, but we have reason to suspect her." Pinky said, breaking her off. "You know…"

"Don't be sorry for Princess's actions." Michelle said testily. "She chose this for herself."

"You think it could be her?"

"She's killed people in the past." Michelle said. "I've tried to put her right, but she doesn't listen to me. She won't come back to me."

Pinky didn't know what to say.

Michelle stared at the ground. "…If it isn't her, catch them. Catch the killer. I don't want to lose both my children. Even if one of them constantly goes against me."

Pinky tipped his fedora. "I will, Ma'am. I'm sure of it. My colleague and I are doing a thorough investigation tonight."

"Thank you." Michelle said. She hastily picked up her bags and stood up. "I'd better get going. I'm sorry to unload all my emotions on you."

Without waiting for a response, she headed off. Pinky whipped out his phone and began dialing Peter's number.

* * *

"Hello." Peter said.

Damien stared at him suspiciously. "Who the heck are you?"

Peter stroked his fake mustache. "I am Percival Panda from the Save The Pandas organization. Donate and we will clean your apartment for free!"

Damien turned to look at his filthy apartment, then back at Peter with a smug smile. "Those pandas just are gonna have to save themselves. Scram. I'm busy."

"We'll do it without donation."

"Scram."  
"We'll pay you to let us clean your apartment."

Damien raised an eyebrow. "Now you're talking. I'm actually taking off for a couple hours. Don't mess with the bathroom and don't leave the door unlocked when you go."

Damien held out a scaly, clawed hand and Peter handed him the money.

Peter entered the apartment and closed the door behind him. He pulled out two small plastic bags. One was labeled EVIDENCE, the other SAVE THE PANDAS.

Peter found some money hidden under the mattress and added it to his SAVE THE PANDAS bag. He stuck an old empty pizza box, a gun, poison darts, and a broken piggy bank into the EVIDENCE bag.

Well, he was done.

Peter turned to leave, but then he remembered he was supposed to clean the apartment.

Peter grabbed a large broom sitting in the corner of the room and shoved everything under the bed.

There. All clean.

Peter left the apartment, swinging his two plastic bags merrily. Soon the giant pandas would be able to afford waterproof flat-screen indoor-poolside televisions in the golden fully-furnished penthouses Peter had managed to provide them with.

Oh, yeah. And the case would be solved.

* * *

Pinky climbed up the fire escape and pressed himself against the wall, turning his head toward the window of Prince's apartment.

He had finally gotten JD, Prince's uncle, to talk to him after he proved he really was an O.W.C.A agent investigating the case. He had told JD that he was going to try and track Prince to protect her if the killer ever decided to show up. He hadn't told JD that he also wanted to know Prince's schedule so he could search her apartment when she was gone.

JD told him that Prince didn't have a definite schedule, but every three days she came to him in the evenings to visit her children Remy and Sneakers, who were living with him until the murderer was caught. And today, Thursday, was one of those days.

Pinky carefully pushed the window open and crawled in. His small size allowed him to fit through without making much noise.

He hopped down into the apartment and gave a yelp. He hadn't expected Prince to be there. He really hadn't expected _Perry_ to be there, either. And he _really_ hadn't been expecting to find them being so _affectionate_ with each other.

Perry sat up, his face flushed. He glowered at Pinky. "What… what are you doing?"

"I… I am so sorry." Pinky stammered, backing into the wall. "I didn't think anyone was here."

"Didn't think I'd be in my apartment." Prince said, appearing more annoyed than embarrassed. "Huh. Imagine that."

"I have to go." Perry muttered, standing up and grabbing his fedora from the bedside table.

"Perry, I am so sorry-"

The door slammed. Prince raised her eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

"It's nothing important." Pinky said.

"It better be important." Prince grabbed her boots from the floor and began tying them on.

"Uh, I just wanted to ask if… uh… you knew of anyone who…" Pinky swallowed.

"Uh-huh." Prince said. She stood up. "Seeing as my schedule's free now, I'm gonna go visit my pups. You're welcome to search this place as you planned. I don't have anything to hide." She started to leave.

"I'm sorry-"

"Hey, it happens to everyone- actually, no, just you. Close the window when you're done." Prince closed the door.

Pinky rubbed his head and turned back to the window, ready to climb out.

Something caught his eye.

One of the drawers under the bed was slightly open.

In it, a gun.

* * *

Perry didn't know why it was so hard for people to understand when he wanted to be left alone. He had been staring daggers at Devon for a full ten minutes, but for some reason Devon misinterpreted the facial expression as "please tell me more about the history of cheesecake".

"…the rich taste, of course, comes from the soft cheese they use. The crust is always unique, there's graham cracker… oh, hi, Pinky."

"Perry, I'm so-"

"Don't talk to me." Perry said.

"At least let me-"

"No."

Pinky sighed. "It's not like I saw anything-"

"That's not why I'm mad, Pinky. Yes, I was embarrassed, but we were just kissing. That's all."

"Really?" Pinky said. "Whew, what a relief-"

"Ooh, who was kissing?" Devon said excitedly.

"Don't you have cheesecake to think about or something?" Perry spat.

Devon fell silent.

Perry stood up and dragged Pinky over to the corner of the room. "I'm mad… because you aren't giving her a fair chance. There are hundreds of other people who could have done it. And it's definitely not her."

"She's the only one who hasn't been attacked, she has a motive, she's killed in the past-"

"She HAS been attacked, and WHAT motive?"

"She hated Rex."

"Dane? Mike?"

"Maybe they knew something."  
"You're scraping."

"Okay, fine. But what do you mean she's been attacked?"

"She has a gun wound on her shoulder. It happened two days after Dane."

"Why didn't she tell us?"

"She doesn't like being fussed over. And she probably didn't want to draw attention to herself."

"Maybe she… maybe she…"

"You just don't like her and you're trying to find some way to put the blame on her. She's a good person when you get to know her, Pinky."

"You're supposed to leave your personal feelings out of work."

"Her personality has nothing to do with me. She didn't do it."

"I found a gun in her room."

"You think she's going to walk around unarmed with someone who wants her dead slinking around?"

Pinky tried to figure out how to respond. He sighed. "You're right, Perry. I'm sorry. I just thought I had it. I'll just focus on Damien now. I mean, he's the only suspect left."

"Cheer up. You can solve this."

"I can't. I'm no good. I can't even search people's houses."

"Don't worry. Even if you aren't the one to catch the killer, at least you'll always have Devon's cheesecake stories."

"I hurt Devon's feelings on top of everything else."

"You did? Gosh, Pinky. I thought you promised you weren't gonna douse his tractors."

Pinky frowned, thinking hard. "Wait. Is THAT what it means?"

Perry shrugged. "Heck, I dunno! Sounds like it, though."


	8. Chapter 8

"Ernest! Why is your huge hulking table blocking the entrance to the agency?"

Ernest gave Perry a stern look. "The Major has decided we need stricter security."

"Stricter than you?"

"Silence. The tube system remains the same. Entering through the front entrance, however, will be a little different. ID, please."

"You know it's me."

"ID."

Perry sighed and dug around in his pocket, producing his wallet. He opened it up and flashed his ID card.

"Fingerprint." Ernest pointed at a finger-scanning device.

Perry glared at him and placed his finger on the scanner. It blinked green.

"Retina scan." Ernest pointed at another device.

"Come ON. You know it's me."

"Retina."

Perry allowed the device to scan his eye. "Now that you've confirmed that ALL of my biometrics are MINE, can I ENTER?"

"Blood sample."

"Oh, COME ON." Perry held out his finger.

Ernest's beak twitched.

"You're just messing with me." Perry said.

"I don't engage in frivolity." Ernest said. "Go in."

Perry rolled his eyes and walked around the table.

"But for future reference, all I need is your ID and finger scan." Ernest said.

"You devious bird of prey." Perry muttered.

* * *

"Why are you here so late?" Devon asked. He was watching something on his laptop.

"The Flittering Eagle decided to joke around today." Perry said. "What are you watching?"

"Security tapes from an apartment."

Perry stared at the tape of an empty hallway. A small ball of tumbleweed rolled by.

"Intriguing." Perry said.

"I'm closer than ever to catching the killer." Devon said cheerfully.

"Okay then." Perry said. "Carry on."

He walked away.

Devon continued to watch his tapes.

Suddenly his eyes widened.

"Of course. Of course." He grinned. "So obvious. The other people couldn't have been the killer."

* * *

"So, what do we know?" Travis asked.

"Rex can't be the killer because an attempt was made on his life. According to a trustworthy source, Prince also had an attempt made on her life and was shot in the shoulder. The Silencers are definitely being targeted. Damien did not shoot Rex, but he may have had a partner working with him who did so. We found a gun in Damien's apartment, along with some poison darts. The gun's bullets matched those that had killed Michael and Daniel. The people who I spoke to said that Damien had a special vendetta against the Silencers for being a dominant gang. Rex owed him money. Rex never paid the full amount. He kidnapped Prince to unravel the Silencers, only to have Rex take her back." Pinky looked at Travis with uncertainty. "I believe one of the killers was Damien. Who knows who the partner was."

Travis nodded. "That's what I was thinking. Let's track the two remaining Silencers and see if we can figure it out."

* * *

Perry returned home late.

The boys were already fast asleep in their beds. A small invention that glowed blue was sitting in between them. Perry decided not to touch it. It was making strange whirring noises.

Perry hopped onto Phineas's bed and patted down a spot with his feet. He curled up next to Phineas's leg and wrapped his tail around his body.

"Perry?" Phineas muttered.

"Yep?"

"You're home?"

"Yeah. Sorry I was late. Doofenshmirtz made an indestructibleinator and it took forever to blow up."

"Oh. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Perry closed his eyes.

Perry's phone rang.

"Seriously?" Perry sat up and tapped to answer it. "Hello?"

"I'm scared…"

"Who is this?" Perry asked.

"I don't know why… I just… I'm alone and it's dark and I know someone's after me and I don't feel safe…"

"Are you okay, Prince?"

"I'm scared…"

"Okay. I'll be right there." Perry hung up and stretched. He opened up the window and climbed down the backyard tree.

* * *

Perry knocked on the apartment door. Prince opened it almost immediately.

"You okay, Prince?"

Prince looked exhausted. "I'm sorry I made you come out here… I don't know what's wrong with me… I just suddenly realized… I'm so alone… they could find me here… it's not safe here…"

"It's all right." Perry closed the door and gave her a hug. "Do you need me to get you somewhere safer?"

"No… I just don't wanna be alone." Prince wiped her eyes.

"You look tired."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Okay. Go ahead and sleep. I'll stay up and make sure nothing happens to you."

Prince sniffled a little and crawled into bed. Perry propped up a couple of pillows on the other side and sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry I'm being such a wuss." Prince said.

Perry stroked her head fondly. "It's okay to be scared, Prince."

* * *

"Wake up."

Perry sat up and rubbed his eyes. "…Did I accidentally fall asleep? I'm so sorry-"

"No, you fell asleep when I woke up. I'm sorry. I was a jerk to make you stay up all night. You look terrible."

"Thanks." Perry said, annoyed. "What time is it?"

"Eight."

"That's not too bad."

"PM."

"What?!" Perry looked out the window. It was certainly very dark.

"Well, you did fall asleep at eight in the morning."

Perry groaned and pulled the sheets over his head. "I slept through everything…"

"Not everything. Wanna be my date somewhere?"

"Where, Insomnia Island?" Perry spat.

"Cranky." Prince donned a neon pink jacket. "Royal Guard's having a party tonight to celebrate our new territory. We managed to get an entire parking garage after a mall went out of business."

"And, let me guess, the theme is Come Looking Like A Bubblegum Commercial Extra?"

"Neon." Prince said. "Because I like bright colors. I have some extra stuff if you want."

"I'm not sure if I can pull off the neon boots."

"You don't have to dress up." Prince said. "I was just suggesting. Come on. It'll be fun."

"That's what Monogram said when he put me on Mission 507." Perry muttered, but he got up anyway.

* * *

Devon walked up to the skunk in neon green that was standing in front of a huge mansion.

"Beg your indifference, snookerpie." Devon said. "But this is a highly overredundant ship sailing down the milkyway donuts dunked over freshly boiled cabbage, and the chairs in Katmandu ain't gonna be happy if they don't have it in for them."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you can't get in unless you're a Royal Guard member or a guest." The skunk said. "So beat it."

"Down date, monkeytrunks. Three clocks in a minute, then. Peace." Devon turned and headed toward the back of the house.

He had a killer to catch.

* * *

Prince led Perry through the crowd of brightly-colored animals over to a couch by a nice-looking fireplace.

"How did you guys get this mansion?" Perry asked.

"It belongs to Goldielocks, one of our members." Prince said. "Obviously, we call her that because she's loaded." She looked around disapprovingly at the nice furniture and sat down on the cloth couch.

"You don't like her much, do you?" Perry asked.

"Never have been fond of people who flaunt their wealth." Prince shrugged. "At least she lets us have some of the benefits." She pulled him down next to her. "What do you think?"

"Well, it's loud and bright. And if I hadn't been blinded after looking at everyone's clothing, that disco ball would have done me in."

"I meant about this." Prince said. "How big Royal Guard's gotten."

Perry shrugged. "I don't know."

"I know you hate vandalism." Prince said. "But… what do you think? Do you think I'm doing better for myself?"

"I guess it's something." Perry nodded. "I worried about you with the Silencers. Yeah, not ideal, but this is definitely better for you."

Prince smiled.

* * *

Peter and Pinky walked up to Tesla the skunk, both wearing fake mustaches.

"Hello, we are from the Save The Pandas (and by extension) Chihuahuas fund." Peter said. "For only zero dollars, we will enter your home and inspect it for termites."

"Peter, I told you to let ME do the talking." Pinky hissed.

"Only Royal Guard members." Tesla said. "Scram."

"Plan B?" Peter asked as he and Pinky walked away.

"Plan B." Pinky said.

* * *

Malice the dog pushed his way toward the punch bowl and attempted to spoon some into a cup without spilling it.

Finicky, a grey-striped cat dressed in neon orange with a giant yellow top hat, came over to him holding his stomach.

"What's with you?" Malice asked.

"Prince and her boyfriend are making out." Finicky said weakly. "And I ate three hot-dogs, so that may have had something to do with it."

"Thanks for the update." Malice said sarcastically. He looked toward the window, where a Chihuahua dressed in a purple suit and bold red wig was being pushed through by a panda with huge blue sunglasses. "Do we know them?"

"I dunno." Finicky said. "But they're wearing neon, so I'm gonna roll with it."

Two shots rang out. The entire party fell silent.

* * *

Peter and Pinky fell through the window and sat up, alert.

Prince was staring at the wall above her where two grapes had smashed into purple goo.

"STOP!"

Devon came running down the stairs, dragging a creature in a ski mask behind him.

"Devon?" Pinky asked.

"I knew it was you right from the start." Devon said to the creature. "And, after extensive investigating, I was certain, and that was how I was able to track you here, tonight, where I followed you, swapped your bullets for grapes when you weren't looking, and then jumped you after you fired."

The creature struggled to break away from Devon.

"Everyone, this is the killer who has it in for the Silencers. This is the murderer of Michael Mongy and Dane, and the would-be murderer of Prince Curran, had I not interfered."

"Dane…" Peter said sadly.

Devon yanked off the creature's mask. Everyone gasped.

"You." Prince hissed.

"There's a joke here." Perry said. "I know there is."


	9. Chapter 9

"Mommie Dearest." Perry said. "That's the joke."

Michelle Curran growled and tried to break away from Devon again. "The Silencers killed my daughter. All their lives… for my daughter."

"I told you." Prince hissed. "The poisonous gas was meant for Damien, a _REPTILE_ who had been hiding out near your stupid complex. It wouldn't have risen to your floor, it wouldn't have killed _mammals_ , and if you cared anything about Willow, you'd have recognized that she had a terminal illness! She'd been dying her whole life. You'd BOTH have died if the poisonous gas hadn't been meant for a reptile. Her death was NOT the fault of the Silencers."

"You wretched little-" Michelle hissed, her gorgeous features twisted with anger.

"Michelle?" Pinky asked. "How on earth… Devon, how did you…?"

Devon smiled. "It was toothpicks, guppyjuice. I smothered a…"

"Normal, Devon, talk normal." Pinky said.

"I realized Michelle had a motive the first time we talked to her." Devon explained. "So I paid special attention to her. After Rex's attempted murder, I went and asked all the suspects where they had been during that time. Michelle claimed she had not left her apartment all night. I watched all the security tapes of the areas where the suspects claimed to be, and I saw that Michelle had, indeed, left her apartment and did not return until an hour after Rex was shot. The motel where Rex was was exactly one hour away from the complex where Michelle lived. And just now, when she made an attempt on the life of her own daughter, she proved my theory correct. Michelle Curran is the murderer!"

"I don't get it." Pinky said. "You told me you didn't want to lose both your daughters. You were so sad… so upset at the danger Prince was in."

"It's called not drawing suspicion to yourself." Michelle snapped.

"Yeah." Prince said indifferently. "She doesn't care what happens to me. The only one she slightly paid attention to was Willow."

"But what about Damien?" Pinky asked. "Did he assist you?"

"Heck, no." Michelle said. "That disgusting creature had nothing to do with it. When he came along and started gabbing away at Rex, I decided it'd be a good time to fire. Let the blame be put on him. He probably killed someone that morning, anyway."

"Here's the backup." Devon said cheerfully. Ellen the eagle and Brandon the bulldog put Michelle in handcuffs and led her away.

"Good riddance." Prince muttered.

"Do we still have a party?" Malice asked.

"Why not?" Peter asked. "One time our neighbor got arrested, and his wife and kids went happily on a fishing trip after the police car drove away."

"He's right." Tesla said. "Come on, guys. Let's party like our husbands just got arrested."

The music started up again.

* * *

"I'm sorry I questioned your methods, Devon." Pinky said, shaking Devon's hand. "But they were pretty strange."

"You gotta admit, honeydew, strangeness is only when bicycles are tricycles instead of black-and-white." Devon said.

"Please stop talking like that." Pinky said.

"Okay." Devon said.

"And no matter how the cookie crumbles, home is where the melon is." Perry said.

"Not you, too." Pinky said.

"What does that mean?" Devon asked. "I don't know that detective lingo."

"It means that even if your owners keep killing off their Mims and putting watermelon in their pasta sauce, there's no place like home." Perry said.

"That is true." Devon said.

"Surely is." Pinky said.

They sat in silence for a while.

"Wait, why would anyone put melon in pasta sauce?" Pinky asked.

"Because chopped tomatoes are the twins of watermelon." Perry said.

* * *

"They caught the killer. You're in the clear now."

Dane turned away from the window to look at his friend. He smiled and shook his head.

"I still don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"How you managed to get me help and convince everyone I was really gone."

"I'm talented."

"Seriously, how did you raise all that money? You haven't been gambling again, have you?"

"Nope. People donated it."

"What, you asked them to donate money to help save the basenjis or something?"

"Close." Peter said. "Very close."


End file.
